I'm so glad I made the friends that I made. I never really felt familial away from home. I guess even at home I never felt that warmth of family. I mean, I know that my family loves me, but I hardly ever felt that warm comforting feeling that makes you feel like you're protected and accepted. It's sad to say that I'm probably more accepted for being gay here at school rather than at my home. I went clubbing tonight, after all our hard work for PCN we threw an after-party. I had to take care of one of my friends who was really drunk, all these guys were trying to hit on her, the bastards... hitting on a drunk girl. COCK-BLOCKED! I was more than happy to take care of her though, it wasn't a chore, it was a privilege. But all through the night I was just barraged with all these compliments and recommendations. My friend said, "You're my favorite Kevin! Tom and I were talking about it and we've decided that you're our favorite." He he he. Quite flattering. Then my drunk friend looked up at me, she smiled, and said something to the effect, "Kevin, thanks for taking care of me, you're such a good friend." And then my friend who was having relationship drama asked for my advice about what she should do, and I told her, "The whole point of being in a relationship is for both party members to be happy. If you are not happy, then it is not an equal relationship. Relationships are supposed to be there to provide you with support that you can't get from friends or family. You need to be patient with your man, but there comes a point in the relationship where you have to say, 'enough is enough.' Yeah, you might like him a lot and he might like you a lot, but you have to realize that he can't treat you or mistreat you in that way because you deserve better. Selfish as it may sound, you have to eventually realize that you have to look out for your own happiness, just be honest with him." So, she looked at me, hugged me, and said something like, "Thanks Kevin, I really appreciate your opinion. I know what I need to do." If only I could take my own advice. Wow, but I did feel special and appreciated. As I was driving home with a couple of friends, I just kept thinking, Fuck, I love these girls, these people. I can't wait until the next time that I will get to see them again.

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I need to feel loved...