I don't know how much more of this roller coaster ride I can handle. First it's depression, then it's happiness, then it's depression again, then happiness. The primary problems that I have being school, money, and relationships. School and money are really no big thing, I've never really stressed too much about those two things, now relationships are a whole different matter altogether. I think people are DRIVEN to make me insane or have me kill myself. I think there's an ongoing conspiracy to play with my heart and step on it. I can just feel it in the back of my heart. Jaded you say? I don't think so. I remember what I used to say when I was younger, I just have so much love to give, but no one to give it to. I was just telling my friend about how i wish that I could just look into people's hearts and minds and just discover their ulterior motives, so I can weed out the good people from the bad people. What drives people to cheat or fool around on people who love them so much? What drives people to ignore people who just feel so much emotion for them? How, exactly, do you tell someone you like that you like them, even if you know somehow they are out of your reach? People are always saying, take a chance. How many chances? As many as it takes. Well, FUCK YOU, you put your heart on the line and you tell me how easy it is. I used to believe in true love. Until someone taught me that true love is not true love and it does not cross all boundaries. And you, if you ever read this, you know who you are, if you don't you're a fucknut. I LIKE YOU, get the message? How honest do you need me to be?

TIMELESS
a single glance to catch my breath
quiet whispers on an empty bed
mystery unfolds when you least expect it
tell me the secret to your heart
i'll speak to you the words that break the parts
listen to the cliche of the beating heart
love, it needs love
hold still, and it will become timeless

You like that shit? I wrote that. Maybe I should write myself out as a commercial. "Baby, if you get with me, you will get these things":

1. Someone to love
2. Someone who will think about you
3. Someone who will write you poems about how wonderful and lovable you are
4. Someone to comfort you when the whole world seems to be against you
5. Someone who will hold your hand when it is raining outside
6. Someone who will cook for you
7. Someone who will respect your opinions, but acknowledge that they have opinions of their own
8. Someone who will not play with your heart
9. Someone who is NOT perfect
10. Someone who cannot fit all the good and bad things he can do for you in a list.

Anyway, this is how sappy I can get. OK, so I'm reading over what I wrote and I feel stupid. There is this HUGE temptation in me to just erase it all, but then again, that's how I feel at the moment, so fuck it!